Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing: 'Funny, fascinating and compelling' The Times

Having watched Friends with my wife and kids from day one, and it being a go to if there isn’t anything else to watch on the box (even after all these years), I was really interested to read about his life story.At first, yeah it was interesting, then as the misuse of alcohol and the opiates became a recurring theme, mixed with new girlfriend, detox and rehab, it became repetitive. That must be the way an addicted persons life cycle maybe.Tells the story of his life, I only hope that he can remain on the pathway he is now, and I wish him well.

Wow!For many years I'd heard that Matthew Perry had had serious problems with drugs and alcohol, but I was absolutely stunned by the intimate revelations contained in this audiobook. By any logic, Perry's substance abuse should have killed him by now: his twin addictions to liquor and opiates should have ended his life many years ago. It's an absolute miracle that the TV and movie star has made it to 53 years of age. Fortunately, Perry has survived for long enough to write and record this brilliant memoir. I found this audiobook to be utterly compelling: I listened to it all in just two days.This memoir is really two books in one. At one level it chronicles the life of a wannabe Canadian actor who migrates to Hollywood as a teenager and ends up living the American Fantasy, staring in the most commercially successful sit-com ever and making many millions of dollars. But on another level it's the sad and appalling tale of a deeply damaged human being who spends decades battling with his crippling addictions. This level was for me the most interesting.The book begins in 2018, when Matthew Perry experienced the worst day of his life.While living in a rehabilitation facility with his female "sober companion" Perry suddenly experiences crippling stomach pains. The actor instantly realises that something is seriously wrong. After defying the facility's staff, who believe the actor is just faking it as an excuse to leave and get high, Perry is rushed into a local hospital by his companion. While there, his colon "explodes" and he ends up in a two-week induced coma. He will eventually be required to wear a colostomy bag for months. The colon problem was caused, of course, by his drug and alcohol addictions. It's this incident that finally causes Perry to for-once-and-for-all confront his demons.Perry then takes us back to his childhood, which is, of course, the cause of all his troubles. Soon after Perry's 1969 birth in Massachusetts to a Canadian mother and an American Father, the future actor's parents relocate to Ottawa, Canada, where Perry spends his next 15 years. Sadly, Perry's parents divorce before their child's first birthday and the father decides to return to the United States. John Perry heads for Hollywood, hoping to make it big as an actor.Back in Canada, Matthew Perry leads an unremarkable life: he's an average student but does become a decent tennis player, good enough to be ranked nationally. He has his first drink at 14 and instantly falls in love with alcohol. His mother remarries and has four children with her new husband. Matthew now becomes the outsider in the new family unit; he also begins to argue bitterly with his mother. The foundations of his self-destructive life have been laid.Aged 15, Perry decides to join his father in California. He had been routinely visiting John from the age of 5, always travelling alone as an "unaccompanied minor" because his parents couldn't stand the sight of each other. Perry is traumatised by those long, lonely flights to this day, he states. The unhappy child being shuttled back and forth across the North American continent grows up to be the unhappy adult who feels unlovable and who is terrified of commitment. Like many thousands of others who go to Hollywood, Matthew Perry decides that one day he is going to be rich and famous and even kneels down and prays to God for it to happen. For some reason Perry believes that fame and money will fill the "hole" inside him. Later, he discovers that it absolutely won't.After years of minor roles and failed projects, in 1994 Perry finally hits the big time with Friends. Suddenly, he and his 5 other co-stars are the most famous faces on television. But his life soon begins to fall apart. After a minor accident Perry quickly develops an addiction to prescription opiates, which, coupled with his long-term dependency on alcohol, causes his life to spiral out of control. Soon, his ability to lead anything remotely like a normal existence is severely affected. Perry's weight fluctuates and he is reduced to filming his movies and TV shows between stints in rehab. At one point he has to abandon the shooting of a film because he is too sick with his addictions.Like I stated earlier, this memoir is really two books in one. Perry's recollections provide a fascinating insight into the American entertainment world of the Eighties, Nineties and beyond. The unknown Perry of the pre-Friends days scrambles around Hollywood looking for any acting work while drinking and partying with his young buddies. At times he and his pals are down to their last few dollars. But when mega-fame comes, jealousies quickly emerge. One of Perry's closest friends abandons him and he doesn't see him again for two years. Perry also senses resentment from his own father. And just how much luck played a part in Perry winning the role of Chandler Bing will amaze you.But the addiction part of the book is fascinating too. Sometimes this memoir reads like an odyssey of rehabilitation institutions. Perry has travelled from as far Switzerland to Utah and all over the US in his search for a cure to his problems. The actor estimates that he has spent in excess of 7 million US dollars in therapy and his stays at various rehabilitation units. He is very bitter at this, at one point questioning their usefulness and railing against their greed. His illness has cost him a considerable chunk of his fortune.The book ends on a positive note. At the time of finishing the writing the memoir, in early 2022, Perry has been clean for some time. He has even managed to kick smoking after his doctor warned him that he was risking developing emphysema by the age of 60. The actor still lives with the sober companion and spends much of his time helping other addicts and campaigning for better understanding and help for other people with substance abuse problems. Sadly, Perry has never married nor had any children. The actor's chronic inability to commit to a woman is highlighted throughout the book. Over-and-over-again during his adult life he has dumped girlfriends, convinced that they were about to leave him anyway. The agony of being abandoned by a woman is something his delicate psyche just can't cope with, and so he won't risk it. He even dumped Julia Roberts! This self-loathing is the key to understanding Perry's addictive personality: he just doesn't love himself enough.This is a superb memoir. It's brutally honest and very insightful. Worryingly, Perry's voice on the audiobook is that of an old, weary man. The actor sounds like someone in his seventies rather than a person of just 53. And recent pictures of Perry are shocking: he looks nothing like the beautiful young screen performer who was a heartthrob to millions of girls in the Nineties and the early part of this century. The drugs and alcohol have taken a devastating long-term toll on his health.But at least he's still alive.

Very frank and engaging read. Matthew doesn't shy away from the raw and deeply personal.It is a fascinating insight into the life of someone battling with addiction. That he is someone who many people will feel a form of personal connection with through familiarity of his work adds an extra dimension to the story.This is a story of someone who has spent many decades battling demons, and yet it's a book filled with hope.

Although, at times, the writing is a little confusing and the 'Keanu' comment really should have been taken out by Matthew's editor, I found this book compelling and difficult to put down.This is an honest account of addiction and I applaud Mr Perry for bravely sharing his life in this way. Having known people with addiction, who sadly did not make it, I am grateful that this book shines a light, not only for other addicts (therefore showing you are not alone and even the rich and famous can have their lives ruined by drugs and alcohol) but also to the judgemental who have no idea what addiction is.I feel sad that he has gone through so much and, what should have been an amazing experience i.e Friends, was overshadowed by an intense loneliness and foreboding. And yet, he still battles on (how incredible addicts are each day they say no) and aims to help others because that's what life is about.This is not a literary masterpiece but it is, I believe, more important than that because it is an honest account of a man's battle through life.

Matthew Perry gives a beautiful (and sometimes uncomfortably) honest look at his life - both of stardom and the addiction that plagued him. Never ungrateful for his opportunities but keenly aware that the fame he was searching for as a rising star paved the way for his mental health concerns to be covered by addiction.

Absolutely love friends and Chandler so I was really looking forward to this book and learning more about the man behind the character.A privileged, spoilt person who was swimming in opportunities and took advantage and hurt other people.It's 2023, excessive partying, sports cars, expensive art, name-dropping, mansions and multiple partners just isn't impressive. Quit bragging Matthew and read the room.I admire his honesty and feel sad for his suffering with addiction. He was given chance after chance where others would have perished so it's difficult to have empathy.I echo previous reviews and agree this isn't written well. I found myself confused with the timeline and jumping back into the same or similar stories. Binge, rehab, new gf, relapse, repeat. This may have been the case, it actually got tiresome and I ended up with compassion fatigue.Gutted because I wanted to like this but it lacked humility, gratitude and care for others. Maybe he has this but it certainly didn't get portrayed in this book.

Good book